2.9 Something Wicked? This Way. Come.
PeanutGalleryChase: "I haven’t had beer in the crisper since college!"
Rachel: "Dude, you can suck beer through a Twizzler!"
Raveena: "Snickeroodle instead of Snickerdoodle?"
Chase: "Oh good, I’m not crazy."
PeanutGalleryArchivist: "One incident proves nothing."
Raveena [re: freak show]: "No thanks. I'm related to a lot of people who look like that."
PeanutGalleryChase: "You can get sued for putting s*** like that on network."
Rachel: "My boobs don’t fit."
Raveena: "Doc? Doc?"
PeanutGalleryChase: "Goose!"
Chase: "I have no cigarettes and no cleavage."
PeanutGalleryArchivist: "A chain-smoking 12-yr-old towing a donkey?"
PeanutGalleryGabe: "Saturday night in McKennit."
Gabe: "Let's Ebay his ass!”
The camera pans over the Old Grove, a sacred and mystical spot for the covens of McKennit. A thick mist rises suddenly from the ground, encircling the grove. Shrouded by fog, there are sounds of animals, dull thuds, and muffled voices. As the fog slowly dissipates, we see a carnival coming to life in the shadows of the old trees.
***
Geoff gives Rachel a quick call to ask for some girl help – he wants to surprise Chase with an impromptu get-together that evening in honor of their surviving one month with Freddie. The new bakery that has popped up on Main Street inspired him, and he wants to get a cake. But decorating isn’t really his thing … will she help? She cheerfully agrees, and they meet at the bakery.
Dough on High is your classic upper-tier pastry shop – the inside smells mouth-watering, and the display cases are lined with intricately iced cakes and buttery pastries. A pretty girl whose nametag reads “Nece” is working the counter. She smiles pleasantly as Geoff and Rachel enter. After a lot of hemming and hawing and decorative inspirations, they end up ordering a chocolate cake (Chase’s fave) covered in buttercream icing and plastic ghosties (in honor of Fred). Nece tells the pair that the cake should be ready for them by closing time. During the whole ordering process, a pair of freshman girls keep peeking out from the back office and giggling. As Geoff and Rachel leave, Rachel asks if he thought they recognized her – Nece joined DoH at the same time she did, and everyone knows how that panned out. But Nece was nothing but polite to them. Rachel asks Geoff if he’s planned munchies for the party – he hasn’t thought that far into it. They head back to Geoff and Chase’s place. Wandering down Main Street, Rachel spots a sign advertising Dark’s Pandemonium Carnival, which will be in town this weekend. They decide that it could be a fun way to spend some time, and they should all go. When the two of them reach the house, Rachel dives into the kitchen to try to concoct some good eats and Geoff gets on the phone to assemble the crew around 7:00.
Leaving Rachel to her culinary concoctions, Geoff runs back over to the bakery to pick up the cake. A giggly blonde is working the counter – Nece is nowhere in sight. She starts giggling even harder as she hands him the cake box, saying that she hopes they enjoy it. Unconvinced that she processed the sale correctly but unable to do anything about it, Geoff heads to the house, where Rachel has begun a thorough decimation of the kitchen in the name of a batch of cookies. They start preparations for the onslaught of people.
Rachel asks from the pantry whether Geoff is inviting Brandon to the party. He shoots a dirty look her way and says that no, Brandon is NOT invited. Geoff calls Shannon to ask for a big favor – will she let Chase off tonight, just send her home? Otherwise, it will be pretty tough to get her home by 8:00. Shannon agrees, but warns him that he owes her big time. True to her word, Shannon cheerfully sends the late and apologetic Chase home once she shows up (she just got off work at the morgue, and things got a little … uh … messy.) A confused Chase takes her leave.
At the house, Rachel is lamenting the lack of decorations. Gabe magics some up, but he’s just learning this one, so they come out with slightly mangled spelling. One by one the gang collects. Soon thereafter, Chase lets herself in. She is completely thrown by the gathering, and is appropriately surprised and touched. Even Freddy comes out for the party. There is much cake eating. During the conversation, Deaver mentions that he heard an amber alert for a missing child - a girl named Regina Howard, who disappeared from a nearby town last weekend. Raveena is concerned that it may be vamp activity – there will be a lot of unprotected children at the carnival this weekend. Maybe they should go there to keep an eye on things. Doesn’t hurt that it will be a lot of fun. The Scoobies concur, and they head out for the Grove.
Once they hit the carnival (a classic from another era, complete with freak show, big top, and petting zoo), the revelers quickly fracture. Geoff and Chase leave for the midway trading barbs and one-up threats, Gabe and Rachel can’t resist the freak show, and Veena reveals to Doc that she has a serious soft spot for petting zoos.
At the petting zoo, the young woman working the gate is shocked that Veena actually wants to go in. She is hesitant at this whole adult in the zoo thing, but she relents and Veena gives her the requisite three dollars. Deaver waits outside with the other “parents”. Some of the animals are very aggressively friendly towards Raveena, hovering around and nosing her intently. After a short time, the gatekeeper ushers her out of the pen and hints strongly that the petting zoo is for *kids*. Annoyed at her brusqueness, Veena gets Deaver and drags him off to the midway so she can work off her grumpiness.
On the midway, Chase has successfully landed herself a stuffed Snoopy while Geoff is still empty handed. Gabe and Rachel catch up with them, and Rachel can’t resist “helping” Geoff out with an impressive throw, bringing an entire pyramid of bottles crashing down. Not to be outdone, Gabe “wins” himself a Frankenstein doll almost the same size as Rachel. Rachel is unimpressed. Chase drags Rachel onto the Ferris wheel with her – after all, Gabe, Rachel, and Gabe’s new pal Frankie won’t all fit in one car. The boys get left behind, and girl talk ensues. Chase grills Rachel about Gabe, and doesn’t turn up much more than “he’s nice when he isn’t reading magic books.” Rachel asks Chase about the new gig at the morgue in turn – Chase allows as how it is really dull unless it is too exciting, and that Geoff was on the money about the idiocy of his former co-workers. But she has more control over her schedule and the pay is a lot better than interning in ER, so she can’t complain too much.
After an evening of revelry with not a vamp in sight, everyone retires.
***
The next morning …
Geoff and Chase’s room. The camera pans up the bed, revealing the slumbering forms of Geoff and Chase. But something important is different. They’re Geoff and Chase … but they look twelve years old. They both awaken and realize this at the same time, which sends them bolting out of bed in a minor panic. All their mental faculties are the same as they were yesterday, but physically … Geoff fumbles for his phone while Chase escapes to the bathroom, where she takes one look at her reflection and shrieks.
***
Rachel wakes up to the same predicament. Appalled, the first thing she does is call Gabe. He answers the phone, and his voice promptly cracks. Rachel puts forth her theory: that the DoH initiates did indeed recognize her and the cake they had last night was spiked. They agree to meet up as soon as she can find a shirt that doesn’t hang off of her newly board-like figure.
***
At Deaver’s apartment, he gets a groggy look at himself in the mirror and wigs. He sheepishly reveals his situation to Brandon, who amusedly agrees to go buy him some clothes. While he’s gone, Deaver calls Chase – yep, same story. Deaver also guesses it was the cake. They agree to meet at the house (of course).
Deaver then calls Raveena … who asks to call him back, since she’s hiding in the closet until Kelly leaves so that she doesn’t know what’s going on. Worried about talking too loud, she says she’ll call him back. He quickly tells her about the meeting.
Chase in turn calls Rachel to alert her and Gabe to the rendezvous. They are both a little freaked. Rachel, at least, has some cigarettes stashed (they have both been trying to quit) and agrees to share, since they can’t buy any (AARGH). She promises to bring the smokes and Gabe to the meeting. She heads to Gabe’s dorm to pick him up – and does so literally, because 12-year-old Gabe is adorably wimpy.
Everyone gets together and quickly settles on the idea that it was the cake. With that, they pile into Chase’s car (with Brandon at the wheel) and drive directly to the bakery. Nece is quite shocked to see a mob of angry twelve-year-olds pour through the door of Dough on High. Rachel skips pleasantries and tries to whack Nece a good one, but Nece easily moves out of the way. Gabe grabs Rachel and attempts to calm her down. Geoff takes a more polite (but still annoyed) approach, and explains to Nece that they believe the cake they purchased there yesterday had been tampered with magically. Nece gets an alarmed expression on her face and excuses herself to the back room. There are muffled voices, one of them obviously angry, and Nece re-emerges. She tells them that yes, it looks like the cake did indeed have something extra-special slipped into it – there were several DoH initiation hopefuls who were hanging out in the back of the bakery, and they thought it would be funny to muck with Rachel and company. Nece apologizes profusely, tells them that the girls will be taken care of and will NOT be invited into DoH anytime soon, and explains that the effects should wear off in about 48 hours. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done to speed it up. She gives Geoff back his check for the purchase. Furious but slightly resigned, the gang goes back to the car, the bell over the door tinkling merrily as they leave.
On the radio, another amber alert comes across the airwaves, this time for Trisha Yearling, a McKennit local who disappeared last night. She had visited the carnival with her family earlier that evening. The announcer also repeats the alert regarding Regina Howard, who still has not been found. Worried that the carnival may be somehow connected to the children’s disappearances, they decide to go there for the day to do some sleuthing. On the way, Veena mentions the odd behavior of the Penny, the young woman who was watching the gate to the petting zoo: she was very reluctant to let Raveena inside, and was quite rude to her when she left, being very obvious that she did not want Raveena to come back. Veena also notes that she didn’t see a single vampire on the premises – strange, as a place like the carnival is practically an all-you-can-eat buffet for them.
When they get to the carnival grounds, everyone heads for the petting zoo. Penny, the same girl who is working the same gate, charges them all three dollars each but doesn’t look at them strangely. Gabe remains outside, but works his way around the perimeter of the petting zoo fence. In the animal yard, Rachel acts on a hunch and calls out in a whisper: “Trisha?” A fat little pig comes up to her, a desperate look in its beady little eyes. She tries another one: “Regina?” Sure enough, a little goat comes trotting up, butting her gently with its head. Through a series of whispered yes or no questions directed at the animals, they determine that the children have no idea who did this to them or exactly how it happened. They left the carnival with their families, safe and sound. All of the sudden, they wound up here, like this. They can safely tell them that Penny doesn’t know anything about the true nature of the denizens of her pen. The girls promise the animals that they will get them out, and Rachel and the others leave the pen to avoid attracting undue attention. Raveena stays, however, to determine which other animals might actually be ensorcered five-year-olds.
Anxious to discuss what they’ve learned, the group goes in the big top to talk where there will be enough sound to drown out their words. The performers are all the usual suspects: lions, elephants, and acrobats on horses. In the shadows by the backstage entrance, one carnie attracts their attention – an older gentleman with long hair, dressed in thick clothing as though for the coldest winter. Discussion ensues –Rachel and Chase, being the sneakiest of the bunch, take off for the carnival living quarters to see what they can find out. The others will wait at the big top to observe comings and goings and try to peg anyone suspicious. Raveena eventually rejoins them.
It is the heat of the afternoon and the carnival is in full swing. As a result, the living quarters are practically deserted. Chase and Rachel sneak into the first rooms they find. These belong to the lowest tier of carnival workers, and it shows. The come across a Belgrade newspaper – a small town near McKennit, and the place Regina disappeared. So that answers that question. They don’t find anything else and move on to the second set of living quarters. These are a bit better appointed – probably the big top performers. Here they find a McKennit paper, but that’s it.
The girls finally end up outside an old-fashioned gypsy wagon. It appears to be the main office. Chase jimmies the lock and they slip inside. Carnival posters line the walls, dating back into the 1800s. The space is a strange combination of old and new – antique furnishings, including an old-timey photo of the man in the winter clothes, paired with a state-of-the-art laptop. Rachel approaches the laptop and checks it out. It is password protected, but Rachel cracks it easily (Kelly would be so proud). Rachel opens up the financial software and starts poking around. She turns the PC over to Chase and starts poking around the room. Chase finds a line item labeled “Shows, etc.” that is extraordinarily high for this kind of operation - in the millions. A detail view reveals the names of many European families who appear to be making enormous donations to the carnival.
On the other side of the room, Rachel finds an ancient-looking trunk. Inside, there are lots of ritual implements and spell components, some of which she doesn’t recognize at all. Some she pegs as items used for transfiguration. There are also rolls of stickers in bright colors advertising the carnival. Rachel takes one and puts it on her hand. Suddenly, the girls hear voices approaching the office. Rachel grabs a few of the less-identifiable items out of the trunk, Chase locks the computer, and the two of them sneak out the door on the other side of the wagon.
Outside, Chase and Rachel openly wander like twelve-year olds. The organ grinder and his monkey approach them. The monkey does a cute little dance and climbs all over Rachel – he examines her sticker, and has a roll of them himself. After giving him a cumulative 75 cents, the girls take off to rejoin the others at the big top. Under the veil of privacy afforded them by the crowd, Rachel shows Gabe the ritual items she found in the office – he doesn’t recognize any of them, either. Chase tells Deaver about the spreadsheet, and Deaver pegs the reason for the huge sums – there are many European families who, unable to have children of their own, choose to buy them from somewhere else. That appears to be what they are doing with the kidnapped children.
Deciding that the best time for a jailbreak will probably be after the carnival closes for the night, the Scoobies take the opportunity to hit the library. While twelve-year-olds would usually have trouble getting in, they can just use the tunnel system under the college to get there.
Ensconced on the fifth floor, a little research into Dark’s Pandemonium Carnival turns up a picture of the man in the winter clothes. The photo dates from 1905, and it is the same one that Chase and Rachel saw in the office. The man’s name is Nathaniel Dark, and he hails from Sicily. He is apparently an extremely powerful wizard. A security guard making his rounds interrupts them, and ushers the kids out of the library. Outside they decide to head back to the carnival and wait until closing time.
Having the evening to wait for everything to wind down, Raveena goes back to the animal pen one last time to warn the children that they will get them out tonight. Everyone goofs off and tries to enjoy the festivities, gleefully indulging their twelve-year-old metabolisms. The monkey and his organ grinder are entertaining the masses, giving stickers to adorable little children. When some pre-teen types try to get stickers, however, the monkey hisses at them ferociously and runs away. Hmmm. The gang retreats to the woods. Rachel is reluctant to part with her sticker, even though they are clearly involved in the magic somehow. Under cover of the trees, Gabe casts a spell to get a visual on the magic that is attached to the stickers. Rachel appears to be surrounded by a cage. Removing the sticker and putting it on a rock moves the cage to the rock. Putting the sticker on Rachel’s shirt brings the cage back to her, but it is more indistinct, less solid. Apparently having the sticker in contact with skin is critical. Doing damage control, the group rejoins the carnival. Rachel buys some cotton candy and starts trading it for stickers, collecting as many as she can from the unsuspecting children. Deciding that the best way to handle this will be to give Dark a taste of his own medicine, they start scheming about how to get a sticker on Dark’s skin or hair without him noticing. They go back to the big top where he can most likely be found. Sure enough, he’s there in the shadows. Gabe promises a distraction. Before anyone knows what has happened, Gabe is running into the lions’ ring in the middle of the show. His arm is extended above his head with an object in his grip that no one else can see. However, whatever it is has the lions’ absolute attention. Gabe pitches the invisible item into the ring, and the lions lunge. There is general pandemonium. Chase and Rachel run up to Nathaniel Dark and cling to him, screaming for their parents – all the while trying to get a sticker on him without catching his notice. They succeed, and affix one securely to the back of his neck. Mission accomplished, they all return to the woods to hide until the carnival closes.
By 2:00 am, the carnival is dark and only one light remains on in the living quarters – the light in the wagon. Silently, the Scoobies sneak up to the petting zoo pen. Inside, they find another bewildered piglet … and a grumpy-looking full-grown donkey. Grinning, the group starts collecting the children and herds them into the back of Chase’s car. Penny is awakened by the commotion and comes out to see what is going on. Horrified that these children are blatantly stealing the animals, she runs to Nathaniel Dark’s wagon to tell him the situation. Animals loaded, they tie Mr. Dark to the back of the Jeep and take off.
The gang takes the children to nearby Whitfield Elementary, where Gabe and Rachel work the spell to change the children back to their original forms. Chase calls Richard to come and pick them up. Worried their twelve-year old appearance would cause a few too many questions, they hide out in Chase’s car until they see Richard pull up and take the kids. He glances at Chase’s car in confusion but doesn’t approach. They then take the donkey to a farm outside of McKennit and leave him as a gift to the hardworking landowners.
A few weeks later, a small blurb in the paper reveals that Dark’s Pandemonium Carnival has been renamed Penny’s Parade …