2.8 Spa Kids (Tranquility)

Gabe [re: paper-rock-scissors for sleeping space]: "How does this work?" Stefan [to Deaver]: "Loser gets Gabe."

Deaver: "Do you know what we're supposed to DO here?"
Stefan: "I don't know. Sleep in mud or something. I plan on drinking as much as possible."
PeanutGalleryChase: "Of course the whole point is detox, but whatever."

Gabe: "Scuba-Slayer. I like it."

Deaver [reading swimsuit tag]: "It's made in Italy. Is that good?" Raveena: "Is it leather?"

Raveena: "Doc, do you want my water wings?"

PeanutGalleryGabe: "And now we return to 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Freakish'."

PeanutGalleryRaveena: "I look like a hunchback tire person."

Deaver: "Raveena, what's that under your robe?"
Raveena: "Doc, that's a personal question."

Raveena: "So it's a big, skinny frog who disappears. I guess we'd better head back and see if anyone has seen a big-skinny-giant-snake-backed-frog."

Raveena: "I might rust."

Chase: "Why don't you go get laid, Stefan? I'm sure there's plenty of rich, tanned, and lonely forty-something women around here."
Raveena: "Don't listen to her. She's naked as a jaybird under that robe and she's been drinkin'."

Chase: "Why would anyone want to store all these scuba tanks in here?" Raveena: "Scuba-Doo, Doc! Don't you remember that article I showed you?"

Chase: "Would you do it for another brownie?"

Stefan: "Where are we going to find a wig at a time like this?" Deaver produces wig from behind his back

Stefan: "Ow! Why do you have to carry so many weapons?" Raveena: "Why do you have to carry so many pounds?"

Stefan: "You know - that's what I call a trapper-keeper."

Bad Guy: "And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"

Two towel-clad teenage girls sit giggling in a steam room, almost obscured by the cloudy and aromatic vapor. Their conversation is interrupted by an unexpected figure emerging from the fog - an unearthly trapper with a long ratty beard and covered in skins. He grins maniacally at the girls and starts to cackle, raising a knife over his head. The girls' screams echo off the glistening walls ...

* * *

A psychedelic multicolored minivan pulls up to the front gates of a serene looking spa. The discreet sign next to the call box reads "Tranquility". Geoff leans out the driver side window to announce their arrival, while inside the leopard-print interior Gabe and Chase continue their argument about his botched spell to create more passenger room. It has resulted in her beloved Jeep looking like something out of a Scooby-Doo rerun. The gates open, and Geoff pulls through and starts up the winding drive. The gang discusses the impetus for this unexpected weekend getaway - Shannon has a cousin, Tonya, who recently opened an exclusive spa in the mountains. All the travel and leisure mags have been raving about it, and business has been booming. Until recently, that is. Strange things have been happening, and it's starting to scare off her overnight guests. Business is beginning to dwindle. Shannon knows that Chase and the crew take care of "weird stuff" and asked Chase if she would take the gang out to Tonya's place. They'll all get a free spa weekend out of it. She agreed. And here they are.

Tonya herself meets them at the front desk. Introductions are made, and she gives Chase the keys to four cabins. The group heads into one of the Tranquility meeting rooms. As they are taking seats around the table, Tonya offers to bring them all drinks. When she returns, everyone turns to the problem at hand. Tonya tells them that things were going wonderfully when Tranquility was first starting out - great press, prestigious clientele, and the finest staff. But lately, there have been ? problems. Some of the guests have reported seeing a ghost around the facilities, and others have talked of a giant creature living in the river running through the property. Business has been dropping off, and some of her repeat clients have stopped coming. The staff hasn't really been affected, and only one of their numbers has corroborated the stories of the monster in the river. Tomorrow night Tranquility is having a special guest, Britney Spears, who will be doing an exclusive concert on the premises. Tonya is worried something will, you know, happen. Since the monster occurrences has been largely happening at night, Chase asks about hits Tonya up for a set of master keys, so they can check things out at after hours without disturbing anyone. Tonya agrees to have them sent to her cabin. Tonya also tells the Scoobies that they are welcome to sign up for any of the spa treatments that interest them as long as there isn't another appointment booked - it will keep the staff busy. Unfortunately, that's been harder to do than she would like of late. She confides that she won't be able to stay open for very long if things continue at this rate. Everyone agrees to start looking into the matter at once, and leaves to get their gear from the van and get settled in their cabins.

The four cabins are quickly divvyed up - Rachel calls Veena as her roomie, Geoff and Chase are a no-brainer, and the guys do a quick paper-rock-scissors tournament to determine who gets stuck with Gabe. Since Gabe wins, he gets the cabin by himself. After dropping off their luggage and getting changed into [what they think is] spa-appropriate attire, everyone reconvenes at Geoff and Chase's cabin. Veena shows up in full snorkeling gear. Most of the Scoobies take her lead and head for the pool. Deaver has neglected to bring a swimsuit, so the makes a side-trip to the gift shop. Stefan, who has learned that the spa is alcohol-free and non-smoking to boot, is already moody and heads off by himself towards the treatment facility, hoping to hit Tonya up for another glass of wine from her private stash. Chase and Geoff head off to get a feel for the layout of the spa grounds and to get a good look at the river where the famed monster supposedly lives. They'll get their luxuriating in after a little reconnaissance.

At the pool, Veena and Rachel are swimming, Deaver shows up with a fancy new Italian swimsuit, and Gabe is sitting poolside with a giant magic tome (much to Rachel's disappointment). Veena and Rachel eventually "convince" Gabe to get in the water, causing a splash that nails the reading material of a sophisticated forty-something woman in dark glasses. Looking very annoyed, she shakes off her magazine and gets up as a man comes out of the nearby main building. "Brett, thank God you're here." She takes his arm and the pair retreat inside. Veena mutters about snooty people and the group goes back to swimming.

* * *

Chase and Geoff wander down to the river and take a look around, but don't find anything unusual. As they walk along the path, they spy another spa guest in a robe, looking out over the water. He looks a lot like Ashton Kutcher. He smiles at them and strikes up a conversation. Turns out it is Ashton Kutcher. He had a weekend off and decided to check this place out, since it had been getting such good press. However, there aren't many guests around, and definitely none his age, present company accepted. He's bored. Ashton invites the two of them to his cabin to hang out that evening - the spa itself may be chemical-free, but they certainly don't search your bags. They agree.

* * *

At the main building, Stefan manages to get a nice glass of grape juice, but that's the closest he comes to wine. He makes for the steam room, where he attempts to smoke a cigarette under the concealment of mist (but the whole paper-water thing renders him pretty unsuccessful). He wanders back to the cabin, where Deaver is hanging out being Deaver. Still feeling unbearably twitchy, Stefan leaves again for the lap pool out on the grounds to try to work off some of his frustration.

* * *

Ashton's cabin is one of the largest and nicely appointed at the spa, complete with a kitchenette. Inside, he has an impressively sized stash of pot, a wad of papers, and enough beer to drown something elephant-y. He starts rolling a joint and offers it to Chase, who hesitates ? very briefly. Geoff politely declines as the other two light up.

An hour passes ?

There's now only enough beer to drown half an elephant, and Geoff eventually gave into peer pressure, so the three of them are as high as proverbial kites. The room is hazy with smoke. Ashton suddenly hops up from the chair he was sprawled in and announces that he has the most killer brownie recipe ever and it is time to make some. From the sofa where Chase is sitting on his lap, Geoff tells Ashton that he's nuts and that HE knows the best recipe by far, handed down from Eliza, who is a pro at this stuff. They start arguing about whether ganja has to be mixed with the butter before you put either in the batter, and Geoff ends up in the kitchen. Unable to stand their obviously substandard recipes any longer, Chase calls out her own advice and joins in the fray.

An hour passes ?

You could still drown a third of that elephant if you tried hard enough, and there are three trays of color-coded brownies on the table.

Chase can't resist pointing out that she still has the master keys to the treatment facility ?

* * *

Gabe is stretched out on his bed pouring over another magic book. There's a knock on his door. It's Rachel. She invites him to come down to the river with her for a walk - but noticing the books on the bed, she half expects him to say no. He surprises her by agreeing, with the caveat that they need to get food - he's ravenous. The restaurant is already closed, but they find some fruit, and take their apples with them as they wander the carefully groomed paths by moonlight. By the riverbank, Rachel winds up and throws her apple core into the water, where it lands an impressive distance away with a soft splash. Gabe's doesn't go anywhere near as far, but he shot-puts it, and promises her he didn't cheat. She smiles at him and tells him she appreciates it. All of the sudden, a rumbling sound and the rush of frothing water interrupt their moment. Gabe quietly tells Rachel that he's not doing it. Turning to the water in horror, they see the churning mass heading towards the bank. The creature dives suddenly, revealing a glistening snake-like body highlighted by the moon overhead. The bubbles keep getting closer, closer, closer ? Rachel and Gabe turn and run up the hillside, making the decision to find the rest of the gang. Fast.

* * *

Raveena is out patrolling the spa grounds still in her bathrobe - albeit with her lumpy "tool belt" of assorted weaponry underneath, giving her an odd shape.

* * *

Chase, Geoff, and Ashton end up in the hot tub in the wet area off the women's locker room, which according to the house rules is clothing-optional ?

* * *

Gabe and Rachel bang on the door at Geoff and Chase's cabin, but no one answers. They run to Deaver's and knock there. He opens the door. They quickly explain what they saw by the river. Deaver tells them that Stefan is down at the lap pool and the three of them take off to collect him. He's swimming at a driven pace, and they have to throw something at him to get his attention, causing him to let fly a string of cuss words that they are grateful they don't understand. They are quickly forgiven, however, with the mention of a monster that needs beating up. Stefan lets out an exclamation of joy and grabs his towel. They all start looking for the others. They run into Raveena on her patrol and tell her what's been happening. Walking along, they spy a muddy footprint, notable because it appears to be webbed and strangely elongated. Their river monster appears to be out of the river. Realizing that no one has seen Geoff or Chase all afternoon, the gang splits up to find the pair.

Continuing to search the grounds, Raveena follows a trail of unlocked gateways into the women's locker room area. She finds the three troublemakers in the hot tub. Chase cheerfully introduces her to Ashton, and the two of them make to pull Veena into the water to join the fun. She mutters to Chase and points out the awkward bulk under her robe, and Chase rolls her eyes and backs off. Raveena spies the Ziploc bag full of brownies next to the pool and munches a few before Geoff can stop her (Chase doesn't even try). It takes a little doing, but Raveena manages to convince Geoff and Chase that their assistance is desperately needed outside, and after looking around briefly and unsuccessfully for her robe, Chase shrugs and gets out of the water. Slightly scandalized that Chase has been skinny-dipping with a couple of boys, Raveena quickly removes her robe and gives it to her. She goes from scandalized to horrified when Geoff gets out of the hot tub and throws the robe at him instead, causing the three miscreants to break down in hysterical laughter. A little put out that they are obviously drunk, Raveena steers Geoff and Chase out of the room. They tell Ashton they'll catch up with him tomorrow, and he waves a casual farewell from the hot tub as they exit into the fresh air.

The group reassembles at the cabins and they fill Geoff and Chase in on the night's happenings. The Scoobies all dig into the brownies, and Geoff gives up trying to convince them not to. They decide to head back to the women's locker room to check out the steam room, since there have been several sightings of the ghost there. Ashton apparently filled it before he left, because the room is filled with a cloud of hot vapor. Outside the steam room the controls are somewhat exposed, and there is a hose that looks older and out of place compared to the others. Aha! A clue! Deaver pulls it off and sticks it in his pocket. Determined not to lose each other in the fog, everyone holds hands inside the steam room. They go around the circle, and Raveena suddenly realizes that the person on her left isn't Rachel ? the cloud parts in front of her and she clearly sees the leering face of a trapper, who starts laughing loudly. She calls out to the others to get the room cleared of steam and tries to hit the ghost. She connects with something, but the laughter doesn't stop. And then it does. The room finally clears as the group opens the door wide and fans with towels. The ghost is gone ? and so is Rachel.

Convinced that there has to be a secret door in the steam room, four of them begin searching. The going is slow. Frustrated, Stefan leans back against the wall ? and it turns. Beyond, the Scoobies find a long, straight hallway. Geoff suggests that they split up to look for Rachel and the ghost. He, Chase, and Deaver go one way, and Raveena, Gabe, and Stefan go the other.

* * *

Down their section of the hallway, Deaver, Chase, and Geoff encounter another split. Deaver takes one branch while Geoff and Chase take the other.

Deaver ends up in a darkened lounge area hung with articles about the spa, but no ghost in sight.

* * *

As Stefan, Veena, and Gabe are creeping down the hallway, Raveena bumps into something. In front of her is the trapper! He gleefully cackles and runs. They chase him down the hallway. He makes for a door, slamming it behind him. They follow. A wild, door-slamming, back and forth chase scene ensues - sometimes the Scoobies are the chasers, sometimes the chased ?

They skid to a halt in a storage room, where Geoff and Chase are standing puzzled, surrounded by scuba tanks. Deaver walks in as well. Aha! Another clue!! Deaver devises a plan to catch the trapper, involving tying some netting to the scuba tanks ? but to catch the trapper, they'll need bait ? everyone turns and looks at Raveena expectantly. She's reluctant, but still hungry, so when Chase bribes her with more brownies, she agrees. In the storeroom they also find a rubbery snakelike inflatable thing. Underneath, they find Rachel bound and gagged. She has no idea what happened - she was grabbed from behind in the steam room, and the next thing she knew she was here. Deaver starts setting the trap up and the others try to figure out how to lure the trapper into their clutches. Since he's so fond of badgering unassuming guests, they dress Stefan up in a wig and an extra-long spa robe and put him on Raveena's shoulders so they're sure to be noticed. They go looking for the trapper. Geoff and Chase hide under the rubber snake suit while Deaver and Gabe stand ready to puncture the tanks as soon as the trapper is within range.

Raveena and Stefan wiggle their way provocatively down the hallway, and sure enough, the trapper appears, laughs maniacally, and starts chasing them back towards the storage room. When they get close enough, Gabe and Deaver puncture the scuba tanks, and the pressure sends them flying down the hallway with the net tied to them. Something goes wrong, and one of the tanks starts spinning in a circle, wrapping Veena and Stefan up in the net with the trapper. It breaks free of the rope, but the other tank carries them down the hallway and eventually slams them into a wall, where they land in a heap. Geoff and Chase run to help extricate Stefan and Veena from the netting, making sure the trapper is secured. As the grumpy looking trapper frowns at them, Tonya and some of her employees come running towards them - she had not yet left for the night, and heard the commotion. Deaver reveals that he knows who is in the trapper suit, and reaches for the beard, pulling off the mask. It is Brett XYZ, owner of a rival spa, who has been trying to scare away Tonya's guests because his business has been falling off. An avid scuba diver, he used the air tanks to create the river monster and used the maintenance hallways to get around the spa and scare patrons into thinking he was a ghost. Brett glares at Tonya and loudly declares, "and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for these meddling kids!" The police (who appear out of nowhere) take him away, and Tonya thanks them profusely. She tells them they're still welcome to stay the rest of the weekend. The next day they find their rooms upgraded with gift baskets and the whole nine yards. The Scoobies (a few of them, anyway) take full advantage of the chance to treat themselves to free spa services, the Britney Spears concert goes off without a hitch, and Tranquility is saved.